A Discussion of the Relationship between the Spirit and Body in Dealing with Strong, Negative Emotions

Depression has probably been one of the most common problems that people bring to our counseling ministry. They feel bad; and to make matters even worse, they feel bad for feeling bad! When people come to us from outside of our fellowship, often it appears that their “faith” has given them one set of expectations of how life is supposed to be; and they are shocked and dismayed when their daily reality is far different. In these cases, part of the counseling process is teaching people how to bring their unrealistic and unbiblical expectations about life into conformity with what God actually promises and provides in His Word.

Normally, the next step in the counseling process is to identify any unrepentant sin. Quite often we find that Christians are “depressed” because they have been rebellious to God in some way. Since we live in a moral universe governed by a personal God, when we break His commandments, we feel “bad.” This is the basic Biblical paradigm for depression found in Genesis Four where God confronts Cain for his unacceptable sacrifice. When his sacrifice was rejected, Cain’s “countenance fell” which is a poetic way of saying he felt sad or “depressed.” God told him how to feel better, “If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted?” (Genesis 4:7). Hence, the basic principle is that if we want to “feel good” we have to “do good.”

Modern empirical psychological studies verify this; if there is a “dissonance” or disparity between one’s feelings and one’s actions, the tendency is for the feelings to follow the behavior. Hence, as clients change their behavior, their feelings are also changed.

Thus, when people come into the pastor’s office suffering from depression, even severe depression, often all that is necessary is to identify how the person has been sinning, bring about repentance, and then help them to do what is right. For example, we have had much success in dealing with women suffering from depression by simply helping them to fulfill their domestic duties, cleaning their homes, making beds, doing the dishes, etc. At the same time, we have seen great transformation in men’s lives by confronting their use of pornography, failing to do family worship or even such simple things as cutting their grass or painting the trim on their houses!

Obviously, sometimes the sin to be confronted is more subtle and occasionally the pastor and congregant may have to spend considerable time exploring these issues. Not all sins are obvious; we are all too good at rationalizing and justifying our actions, covering the most reprehensible lifestyles with pious platitudes. For example, we have seen a number of people who were severely depressed because they have a long history of gossip, slander and backbiting. These actions of course, destroy healthy relationships, driving others away while making them feel lonely, and isolated. On the outside, they may have been involved in many church activities - but their habit pattern of dealing with interpersonal problems was simply abysmal. Indentifying these long term problems then allowed us to work on developing the proper, Biblical lifestyle, which in turn, greatly improved their relationships and their feelings.

This, by the way, is why counseling can never be separated from the overall ministry of the church; every Christian needs not only a comprehensive Biblical worldview by which to organize life they also need to be a part of a healthy social group. We all NEED the loving support of a covenant community who are willing to self-sacrificially encourage each other “in love and good deeds” (Hebs 10:24-25).

This is all part of God’s plan for our sanctification; we need each other. I do not think it is a stretch to say that often, people who tend to be prone to depression also tend to have superficial relationships even with their own spouses and children! This may be because they are inherently selfish and self-centered oh they may be nice enough people, polite and well mannered but at heart sometimes they are like spoiled little children who want to have their own way; and when they do not get their own way, they become sullen, embittered and depressed. Some people never grow up they might hold down a job, not fall into drunkenness, immorality or depravity but like a child they live according to their feelings. And when they feel bad, they are not happy unless everyone around them feels even worse!

In one respect, the difference between an adult and a child is that an adult is supposed to have learned how to do what needs to be done, regardless of whether they want to or not. For example, a child might refuse to eat his vegetables because he does not like the taste an adult eats them because he knows that vegetables are necessary for a healthy life (and a reasonable waistline). Most children, if given the choice, would prefer to eat various forms of sugar than a balanced diet but hopefully an adult does better. A child would stay up way too late at night if given the chance and then have to be roused out of bed in the morning to get ready for school. An adult however, knows that he MUST go to bed at a reasonable time so that he can wake up and get to work on time and if he does not learn to do so, he does not stay employed very long.

However, some people never seem to grow up and accept their adult responsibilities. Like a child, they have to be forced to do the right thing. And like a child, they can become irritable, outraged or outright rebellious when they do not get their own way. Essentially, they live according to their feelings just consider all those middle aged women who insist on acting (and dressing) like seventeen year old bimbos or all those middle aged men who think life is about beer and video games.

Thus, a person who is already living life according to their feelings is a prime candidate for serious depression at some point. Because they are still emotionally children, when some life trauma occurs (which is inevitable only a child thinks life is all fun and games), they cannot handle it. They want “Mummy” to kiss the “boo-boo” and make the pain go away. If Mummy is no longer available, then they go to a doctor or a psychiatrist who will either pump them full of antidepressants while reassuring them that it is all someone else’s fault.

Neither approach works of course; studies done since the 1950’s have repeatedly demonstrated that secular counseling is at best, ineffectual; of those who go for some kind of psychotherapy, 30% get better, 30% get worse and 30% stay the same. This might sound a little encouraging since at least 30% get better that is until you realize that the statistics are exactly the same for people who do NOT get counseling 30% get better, 30% get worse and 30% stay the same!

In the past thirty years, as more and more people have adopted as a basic assumption that life is to be lived according to their feelings, they are overwhelmed when some trauma strikes and turn to the “professionals” for help. Since psychotherapy does not work, the pharmaceutical companies have invested billions in developing various drugs that promise to relieve depression. Most of these antidepressants mess around with various brain chemicals.

Brain Chemistry and Depression

Since I am not a physician and most people are not interested in a lecture on how the brain works, let me be extremely simplistic here; neurotransmitters are chemicals that help transmit signals from one cell to another. If your body does not produce the right kind of chemicals in the proper amounts, the signals are impaired or distorted. As a result, your thinking and your emotions can be significantly skewed you can feel “hyper” one moment and suicidal the next. You may be irritable without cause, lethargic, you cannot sleep, or maybe you sleep too much. When you hear good news, it seems irrelevant. Life can seem to have no purpose. You may feel that other people do not care about you, despite the fact that in the past, they have always been committed to your wellbeing.

Now here is where the spirit/body interface becomes relevant; we were created as physical beings brought to life by God breathing His own Spirit into us. However, when Adam sinned and brought death into the world, both our bodies and our spirits were affected. Our bodies grow old, get sick and eventually die. And even our spirits, if not redeemed, will spend eternity apart from God. Though the Christian is one who has been forgiven for his sins and promised the Resurrection (where both spirit and body are reunited and purified from all the effects of sin), for now, the stain of sin still affects us all.

For example; some peoples’ bodies get cancer; some have their hearts wear out. Some people have organs that do not function properly and develop diseases like diabetes, liver disease, etc. No reputable Biblical counselor would suggest that a person developing heart disease had committed a particular sin and if he repented of that sin God would remove the plaque in his arteries! Yet, the brain is also an organ of the body; what we feel, how we think is NOT just a matter of what we believe or how we respond to situations but is also significantly affected by the complex chemistry of the brain itself; an organ that is affected by living in a sin cursed world.

Hence, a very strong argument can be made that certain afflictions, such as severe depression, bi-polar disorder, or schizophrenia MAY be a result of a failure in the chemistry of the brain and NOT always a sinful response to situations. For example, there appears to be a well documented phenomenon called “Turrets Syndrome” wherein a person’s brain chemistry causes the sufferer to say the most outrageous things using words and terms that every Christian would find objectionable at best. However, the person suffering from this apparently has no control over what he says- the brain in effect misfires.

Usually, depression is associated with serious life events; a man loses his job, a woman goes through a painful divorce, a loved one dies and as a result, it is natural and ethical to FEEL BAD in these situations; after all, when Jesus visited the tomb of his friend Lazarus, the Scriptures record that He wept. If Jesus could weep (which we assume meant that he felt very sad at the death of his friend), then therefore we too can weep at times. Death is unnatural, it ought not to be. It is painful because it is a part of the curse God proclaimed against sin. And when bad things happen to us, then clearly, we are not in sin for FEELING bad.

Furthermore, there is a clear, empirical relationship established between traumatic life events and brain chemistry. It has been demonstrated that when people go through stressful situations or suffer loss (e.g., being fired, divorced or the death of someone close) their brain chemistry is significantly affected. Most people however, over time, will have their brains return to more normal functioning. However, if a person has a biologically weakness in this area, then even after the life trauma is over, they can still suffer from serious emotional problems because the brain chemistry does not return to normal.

Think of it this way; a chain is only as strong as its weakest link. Different people have different weak links. When trauma occurs, it puts stress on the entire body and if there is a weakness in a particular organ, then the stress may cause a “break” in that organ; i.e., it may not function properly.

Hence, if a person has a weakness in their brain chemistry and they suffer significant stress, then they can develop thinking or feeling problems because the neurotransmitters are not working properly. For example, some antidepressants “work” by trying to trick the brain into recycling the serotonin a vital chemical for making us feel good. Stress depletes serotonin, which is one of the reasons we feel bad. However, the way the antidepressant works can be problematic; some research shows that antidepressants actually REMOVE the receptors that serotonin needs in effect making the situation worse!

Now as stated previously, I am not a physician and am not qualified to give medical advice. Certainly, there are EXTREME situations where adjusting the brain chemistry is necessary just as prescribing insulin for a diabetic is necessary. But in the vast majority of cases where a person is suffering depression, even extreme depression, medication ought to be the LAST resort, not the first. Physicians however, want to help people (if they did not, they probably would not have undergone the years of arduous training they had to endure to get their MD). Hence, it is quite understandable that when someone comes to them feeling bad, their natural tendency is to give that person a pill which the drug companies have promised will make the patient feel better.

However, the clinical research does not support that belief; people often do NOT get better on antidepressants. Furthermore, every medication has side effects some of them even worse than the original symptoms! Remember, fifty years ago, physicians were insisting that lobotomies (cutting out a portion of the brain) and electro-convulsive therapy (giving people electric shocks) were effective treatments for depression!

In other words, without calling either the competence or motivations of the average physician into question, they do not always have the answer. Most people today, including Christians have accepted as fact something that is really a myth; modern medicine can solve all our problems with a pill. The reality is that though they do the best they can at the state of the art - medicine still has a lot to learn.

Therefore, rather than mess around with the brain chemistry by trying various antidepressants, we ought to first look to other ways of restoring the brain to healthy activity. And we can begin by redefining “stress.”

Stress is not an absolute but a relative; in other words, something is “stressful” to the degree that we BELIEVE it to be dangerous or harmful. For example; the average person might consider being in the same room with a tiger to be “stressful.” However, if there are bars between you and the tiger, suddenly, it is not so dangerous is it? I remember years ago when our children were younger we took them to a local zoo that specializes in rescuing exotic cats. One of the special things you could do was feed the tigers through a chain-link fence (for a “modest” fee of course). All that separated us from the tigers was that simple fence a fence that at least to my eyes the tiger could push through if he really wanted to get out.

But neither the children nor the parents were particularly afraid or “stressed.” We BELIEVED that the handlers knew their job; we “trusted” the integrity of the fence.

Life events are not unlike this example; what we believe about the world affects how we think about “bad things” when they happen. If in fact we believe that there is a sovereign God who governs every aspect of His creation, including when “bad things” happen, it changes the way we FEEL when He allows one of those “bad things.”

In my experience, many Christians who come to us for help for depression attend churches where experience is valued over theology. Such Christians do not have the opportunity to develop a consistent, comprehensive Biblical worldview. Therefore, they end up believing that God will never let anything bad happen to them. Then, when He does in fact allow something difficult to come into their lives, their entire worldview breaks down. Small problems become disasters and therefore their brain chemistry is stressed. If they make the mistake of going to a physician to get a pill to “fix them” they often find that their entire life is terribly disrupted i.e., they stop going to work, they withdraw into themselves, they have fits of rage or crying jags, etc.

Meanwhile, their well-meaning friends and family, wanting to be kind and compassionate, can make the situation worse because they make excuses for their behavior. They do not hold the person accountable or responsible and so a spiral begins. Stress may have led to a deficiency in brain chemistry which in turn may have led them to feeling bad, but then, they acted bad and did not repent. This then makes them feel even worse, stressing the brain chemistry even more! Normally speaking, a person WILL feel better over time.

This is a statistical reality called “regression to the mean;” extreme states are by definition “extreme.” Sometimes we feel really good and sometimes we feel really bad but normally, we feel somewhere in the middle. When we experience significant life trauma, it is normal and natural to feel “bad.” But unless there is something radically wrong with our brains, over time, the pain will go away unless we mess with the brain chemistry.

As an illustration: testosterone is a naturally occurring hormone in both men and women (more so in men of course). It builds both muscles as well as giving men their secondary sex characteristics (aggression, body hair, etc.). Some people want to build bigger muscles so they artificially inflate the amount of testosterone in the body by taking steroids. If a man takes steroids, he CAN achieve significant muscle bulk but at the risk of serious side effects like having his testicles shrink because the body no longer needs to produce it naturally (if a woman takes steroids, she can build considerable bulk but at the cost of losing everything physically distinctive about being a woman). Messing with the brain chemistry can have the same sort of effect by impeding either the natural production of serotonin or its reception by nerve cells.

In short, a “normal” person undergoing an “abnormal” stress is likely to make things worse for themselves in the long term IF they take antidepressants because they are not allowing the body to heal itself. Often however, a physician has few options; the patient feels bad, perhaps even suicidal. The physician wants to help and tries to do so by removing the symptoms.

However, every traumatic event is in reality a test of one’s world and life view. Just as the stress puts pressure on the weakest parts of our bodies, it also stresses the weakest part of our faith. Every trauma, no matter how devastating or horrible it may be CAN become an invaluable source of personal growth IF we approach it with the right set of expectations.

This is where the Christian has the undeniable advantage; we are not immune to pain to the contrary the Bible’s message is clear that many believers will suffer MORE in this life “judgment begins with the household of God” the Apostle Peter says. However, we also know that God is in control, that He is working His will not only in the world, but in our particular situation. We KNOW that He loves us and wants to purify us the entire book of First Peter was written specifically to encourage Christians going through the worst sorts of tribulation and adversity. The pain has a purpose it makes us aware of the futility of life apart from God, shows us where our character is deficient and is a spur to greater humility, charity and grace. When God allows one of his children to suffer in this life, it is always for our good and His glory “for all things work together for good to those who love God.”

Granted, the “good” God promises here is not always what WE want and of course, that is the problem. Original sin was not stealing a piece of fruit off a tree but the desire to be as God, determining good and evil for ourselves. We lost paradise because we chose our definition of good over His. And all we accomplished was to bring sin and death and pain into the world. The heart of the Christian faith is that God loved us so much He became a Man and lived among us, sharing our pain and dying for our sins so that we might live with Him forever. If He loved us so much that He sacrificed Himself, therefore, when He allows us to suffer in some way, it is always for a high and holy purpose. And our hope is that one day, the dead shall rise and sin shall be no more where every tear is dried and every injustice avenged. Therefore, even though we experience pain, and it hurts so terribly, we endure not out of stoicism but because we know that “this has a purpose.”

Suggestions for Dealing with Depression

First, since we are both body and spirit, the health of our flesh will affect how we think and how we feel. There is good research that demonstrates a clear relationship between the health of the brain and our diet.

For example, cold water fish are rich in omega fatty acids that are essential to healthy brain function. Several servings a week of tuna fish has demonstrated a real improvement on brain function. Sometimes when people are depressed they eat the wrong things (or eat little at all). After all, you feel bad and certain foods taste good (or nothing tastes good at all). However, this just messes up the body’s chemistry again. When Elijah was depressed after Mount Carmel, God told him to take a break and eat. Therefore, if depression does not seem to be going away then it does not hurt to take a look at a person’s diet. Foods rich in vitamin B and fatty acids can actually help replenish serotonin.

Secondly, AVOID antidepressants if at all possible. Often Christians are reluctant to go for counseling because of pride; to admit they are feeling bad is tantamount to admitting that something is lacking in their faith. Instead, they sometimes go to a physician who prescribes an antidepressant. My experience has been that “normal” people suffering “normal” depression taking antidepressants do not get better but quite literally, can go “insane” for a while as the doctor tinkers with the dosage. The antidepressants sometimes radically change a person’s personality, covering up the root causes of their problems while creating new ones: e.g., they can lose their jobs, their marriages break down or they drive their children away because their emotions are all over the place. The drugs affect their thinking and feelings so powerfully, it often makes their loved ones avoid them at the very time they NEED their support and encouragement.

The above is not to say that there are not SOME people who might not benefit from antidepressants; just like some people need thyroid medication or insulin or heart pills or whatever. But the chemical option ought to be regarded as the LAST option, not the first.

Thirdly, if depressed because of some major life trauma (death, divorce, abandonment, job loss, etc.) then a person can learn to see it as an opportunity, thus reducing the stress and allowing the brain time to recover. Remember the illustration of feeding the tiger we mentioned earlier? The only difference between a dangerous carnivorous beast and a big fuzzy pussy-cat was our faith in a chain link fence. The “fence” in depression is that the Christian lives by FAITH and not by FEELINGS. He needs to trust that God is in control, and that He knows what He is doing. Thus, no matter HOW badly we feel, God always holds us accountable to DO what is right. And as He said to Cain, if we DO right, then we will FEEL right oh not necessarily the very next moment but the feeling will come. This faith allows the body time to heal itself, for the brain to calm down and the chemistry to return to a more normal state. Our beliefs really do affect our bodies.

At the risk of sounding unkind, in my experience, many people who suffer from depression are inherently selfish. From the way some people talk, nobody has ever suffered the way they are suffering nobody else has felt the pain they feel. Then, well intentioned friends and family enable them by not holding them accountable which in turn makes them feel guilty inside and therefore even worse- and hence they never seem to get better.

One of the most effective “techniques” we have found in helping people not only persevere but triumph over depression is to get them involved in helping others. God is love and demands that as His children we also love. When we do good things for others, especially when we ourselves are feeling so bad, it actually takes our minds off our own troubles, which in turn gives our brains the opportunity to replenish those brain chemicals that were depleted by stress. But doing “good” also stimulates the brain to create exactly the right kinds of chemicals that in turn make us feel “good.”

Thus, one of the ways that friends and family can help a depressed loved one is by asking THEM for help. When we do good things for others, it makes us feel good. The “help” might be as simple as assisting on a home project, working in a church ministry, making supper for a shut-in what they do is less important than that they are forced to think of others for a while. And since helping others is a good thing, then our feelings tend to improve over time.

Often the depressed person, seemingly overwhelmed by the negative emotions will respond by saying, “But I can’t.” They do not want to go to work; sometimes they do not want to even get out of bed. Sometimes all they want to do is sob. This is not necessarily a “weakness” on their part; their bodies are responding to that brain chemical mess we have been discussing. And of course, when we see people so obviously suffering so much, we want to be compassionate and kind. How cruel it seems to add to this person’s discomfort by insisting that they get out of bed, clean their house or go to work? Yet, those are the very duties that are necessary to help them break out of the depression.

In line with this, the Christian can see every life trauma as an opportunity to test the quality of their life what really is important to them. Solomon wrote “Ecclesiastes” over three thousand years ago where he noted that “all is vanity.” Every day, each of us makes decisions that will affect our future. The person we are today is the result of the decisions we made yesterday. The person we will become tomorrow will depend on what decisions we make today. Quite often, a person is depressed because they are “reaping what they sowed.”

For example, many men go through “mid-life” crises where they suffer terrible depression as they realize that they are growing older, and the life they are living is not what they always wanted it to be. Yet, where they are today is the direct result of the decisions they made twenty years ago; decisions about what kind of education they would obtain, the kind of person they would marry, how they would raise their children, how they would do their job, etc. And sometimes, the reason why they are depressed is that honestly, they either made bad decisions, or at least not very good ones. Some men respond by divorcing their wives and seeking happiness with a “new, improved model.” Some men change careers, abandon their old life and try to start all over again.

Even the most cursory examination of these “strategies” shows that they just do not work. Families are destroyed often with the children suffering the worst effect and the men do not find any lasting happiness. Helping such a person begins with making them face reality; and showing them that life is more than what they have achieved or what they own but is who they are.

You see, part of the problem is that in the modern world we like to pretend that death is something that is never going to happen at least to us and those we love. We think therefore only in terms of what seems to make us happy in this life forgetting that we can take nothing out of life except our character.

Others suppress the reality of death because it frightens them; like children pulling the blanket over their head to hide from the “Boogie-Man” many adults pretend that death will never happen. Then, when it hits OUR family, we are shocked and dismayed and feel like it is the end of the world. But death is a reality; and apart from a very few people at the end of time, something that all of us are going to have to face. I have spent a lot of hours in hospitals trying to give comfort to people facing their own mortality. Some Christians went through that last barrier with courage and good cheer others, and not the ones you would think kicked and screamed like little children. They were angry and bitter at God for requiring them to die why they were too young, they had too much left to do how dare God require them to come into His presence right now?

Do you see the problem here? They wanted to tell the God of Creation when and where and how they would leave this life for the next one clearly, something was lacking in their faith. And it was my job not only to comfort them during that difficult time, but to also encourage them to actually TRUST the God they said they believed in. God loved them SO much that He gave them the opportunity before leaving this life to get some final things right. It was a “severe mercy” but it was a mercy nevertheless.

But these times of testing need to be seen for what they are, opportunities to evaluate our lives, our values, our priorities so that we can repent where necessary and build something that will glorify God. This is usually a humbling process; none of us is as holy, as wise, as kind, as fair, as we like to thing we are and realizing that can be a painful experience.

But in the end, the only life worth living is one that is dedicated to letting the beauty and wonder of God flow in us and through us. Of what value is education, achievement, wealth or power when death stalks us at every moment? Only God is eternal, the Beginning and the End and we were created to reflect His glory.

Therefore, if the decisions we have made in the past turn out not to work, is it not a blessing to be able to realize that BEFORE we are called to account in His presence? Every time something “bad” happens to us, we have the opportunity, if nothing else, to show our faith, by responding in trust, humility and obedience that builds the kind of character that survives death.

And when we do NOT respond well, we can rejoice and have hope! God is still in control! So we were NOT the wonderful, godly, mature person we THOUGHT we were. God has showed us a weakness so that we might learn to trust in Him and His grace and goodness even more. This is one of the most wonderful provisions of the Christian faith we CAN be forgiven! All we need to do is bend our stiff necks, confess our sins and He who is faithful and just will forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (1 John 1:9).

For in the end is this not what most of us need to learn - to know that we are saved from our sins not because we are smarter, wiser, more moral or better than others but because He is kind, gracious and loving? This world is so full of pain, disappointment, frustration, deception and death only the existence of a loving God who promises us forgiveness and everlasting life with Him makes any sense.

Therefore the Christian can face the reality of pain with comfort and hope. Yes, when “bad things” happen, we can and will “feel” bad but the Christian is able to look beyond the bad feeling today to the glorious hope of the future. We can do what is right, regardless of how we feel because there is a sovereign God who dwells in us and reveals Himself through us.

And when those times come when the night seems to have no end, when the tears will not stop, when life seems futile, meaningless and nothing but pain, we have hope. God knows our frailties, our weaknesses, and our sins. He has made perfect provision for all our cares. We “walk by faith, not by sight” and can encourage each other to trust Him, and do what is right. And even if our bodies betray us by not creating the kind of chemicals we need to feel “good” - God has not changed. His love and His provision are always there and the future is bright for those who trust Him.